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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:16 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:13 am
Posts: 4
Age: 33
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to orgasm/ejaculation normally: 1
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Briefs
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 3-4 hours
Date that you last had an orgasm/ejaculation.: 08 Sep 2018
Sex: Male
:text-imnewhere:

I need help on something and need to get some things off my chest. And I will reveal some things about myself and there may be some explicit content so I apologize in advance if anything I say is offensive. NOTE: I AM NOT posting this to make jokes, to be funny, to be obscene or any other kind of inappropriate and I am NOT here to sexually arouse or entertain anyone! I'm being serious! and no profanity will be included. I am posting this because I want to understand what the sam-heck is wrong with me and maybe what I should I do about it? And I'm looking for others who have the same problem or have been through and maybe are still going through the same things I'm about to say and am looking for others who might understand me. I also do not wish to be encouraged to do sexual activities!

VIEWER DISCRETION IS HIGHLY ADVISED!

Call me "Marvin," (that's not my real name but please call me that!)

A few weeks ago and not for the first time I dreamed I had to go to the bathroom, and instead of going in a toilet (or urinal) like we're supposed to, I went into some weird, random, box-like device. But when I started peeing, I couldn't stop and just kept right on urinating! Then when I woke up, my underwear was wet.

I thought maybe it was just another wet dream as we males have, no matter who or what we are. And this is not the first time this has happened to me, I've had dreams before and then waking up to wet underwear whether it was a dream of me going to the bathroom or a dream of me doing something outright sexual. And after this dream, I decided to do a little research on what has been going on. I also wanted to know why men cried after having orgasms, and now I know it's Post Coital Dysphoria.

First, whenever I wake up to liquid in my underwear, I feel uncomfortable, especially if it's an ejaculation. Not only do I have to live with the fact that liquid came out of me, and I'm sure it's semen or sperm, but I have emotional and psychological problems and perhaps some physical problems too. I know having a wet dream is part of being male, I'm not the first and won't be the last, nor am I the only one going through it though it feels that way, but it doesn't make me happy when I have them. And the day I have a wet dream, I feel like I cannot enjoy my day or live my day like normal. I know that's not true and I have had times I've gotten over wet dreams and went about my day, but many times for whatever reason, whenever I have one, I tend to make a big deal out of it. And I feel like my day is ruined when I have a wet dream. My already short attention span gets shorter, I get more tired, I have higher anxiety, and I tend to cancel whatever I planned to do if I can and want the day to end so that the next day, provided I don't have another wet dream, I can resume my life. And after a discharge I feel like my bladder is working over time, or keep feeling like I have to urinate. And I feel discomfort in my stomach and feel like I have delayed bowel movements (I know that sounds crazy but I feel like ejaculating affects my digestive system, in fact because of that, I had days I would eat little or eat nothing that entire day.)

And if I have wet dream on my first day of something, I feel like the days after will be soiled. I had a wet dream on my first day of a college semester and I felt doomed and gloomed and had severe anxiety and a severe emotional outbreak, but had to go to school anyway although I was in college, meaning I didn't have to go but there'd be consequences if I didn't. And one time when I had a wet dream, someone bought food for me but I wasn't ready to eat it and threw it away, wasting food and wasting money someone spent on me, and I still feel terrible about that! :cry:

I basically just feel like when I ejaculate, whether by sex (which I have not done but did "experiment" as a preteen) or masturbation or wet dream, it feels debilitating and impedes me. Activities even become harder to do, like reading, doing homework, studying taking exams, etc, I have more trouble focusing and feel like I cannot think straight or think right or carry on an important thought.

Plus I'll admit I used to be a masturbator, I started when I was 13 but kicked the habit when I was 19, but did have a few slip-ups there-after. Sometimes I used my hand, other times I used a stuffed animal. And I thought it would be fun (and I was impatient and didn't want to wait till I was grown up) but in reality after I would ejaculate, I would feel uncomfortable, regret what I did, not feel good about myself and I would feel defiled and would want to isolate myself and not face others, which wasn't an option, I had to face others! But I would find myself in that vicious circle, masturbating only to suffer the same consequences again, and I have found my life is better when I don't masturbate (and still to this day I NEVER want to go back to it, it was one of the DUMBEST things I've ever done in my life! It was hard to want to give up and stop but I have stopped!) And some of the symptoms I mentioned above also occurred (including affected bathroom using.)

Now I didn't have my first wet dream until I was 16, as early as I can remember. In that dream though, I didn't have sex with anyone, I was just going to the bathroom, and when I did I just kept peeing till the dream ended and when I woke up, I had liquid in my underwear. I knew it had to be a wet dream because I've been reading and reading about it (because I was that interested in sex as a young person, well most young people are into that and talk about sex lots of times. I thought I was better than others and denied being into sex, but it turns out I was probably worse, although I wasn't open about it at the time.) And being a masturbator, I was no stranger to ejaculation, and despite not masturbating, although I think I did thereafter, so I ejaculated twice that day!, I still didn't feel right!

Many wet dreams I've had thereafter, although I don't remember having one till over a year later and they became more frequent when I was 17 and I didn't masturbate as much, which felt good but when I started again the old unwanted feelings came back and again the feeling of wanting to isolate myself and regretting what I did came back. But as I was saying, many wet dreams were sexual, but some were still of me urinating. Sometimes I had a wet dream just having my penis out! Ejaculating without masturbating didn't bother me as much as deliberate masturbation did. But after I decided to give up masturbation once and for all, that's when the only time I ejaculated was when I had a wet dream. At first it wasn't that big of a deal but later in life it started getting to be very annoying and uncomfortable, and it's still annoying to this day.

And what's really annoying is having wet dreams every two to three days, and there have been times in my life I would have a wet dream two or three days after already having one! There was even a time I had two wet dreams in one day and had one more the very next day. Was my sex drive so high? Or was it because I was under so much stress? (I figured being stressed and angered is what fueled my sex drive or high testosterone level. And let me tell you the truth, I HATE having High-T. Other males may like it and other males may want bigger penises than they have but believe it or not, I DON'T, and I'll explain that in a little bit.) Plus I used to be a college student and I've been stressed lots of times and had some semesters where it was wet dreams galore, and I hated that!

But there have been times I've gone long periods without having a wet dream and usually 5 weeks was the longest I could go. But in 2013, I didn't have a wet dream between the end of July and the end of December! And I would rejoice when I would go long periods of times without having a wet dream or an ejaculation or some other weird discharge. In 2015, I didn't have a wet dream between March and the end of December!

But back to what I was saying earlier. When I have a wet dream, and whether I spewed semen or urine out of myself, all because of something stupid I did in my dream, and I've absent-mindedly let my penis out, or had it out somehow, or absent-mindedly played with my penis, or peed standing up (these days I sit to pee now, I feel more comfortable doing that, I haven't stood since 2004, I don't even use urinals, I wait for stalls even if I have to wait a looooong time, and I've had some people line jump me, forcing me to wait longer!) Anyway, when I have a wet dream and something spews out of my private, as I said already I feel uncomfortable, sad, sometimes frustrated, defiled, and want to isolate myself and not deal with anyone. And even after I shower, and I always shower after I ejaculate, or after having a wet dream, I still don't feel right!

And one time in 2008, I dreamed I had to go to the bathroom but couldn't find a toilet. And I was afraid no one would let me use their bathroom, so I ended up going behind a tree, and I had to stand up when I wanted to sit down (which I don't always know to do in my dreams) and I peed in front of some people and kept peeing to the end of my dream, and when I woke up, take a guess!

Like I said, I know having wet dreams is part of being male, but it frustrates me so much, especially when it's very frequent, that I end up wishing I wasn't male and was female instead. Sometimes, and sorry to offend anyone, I want to get castrated! But if I do, how will others feel about it? I hate castration and I hate hearing about it and I don't want any male to lose their penis! Many people are sensitive to that and I am one of those people! Plus it would be hypocritical of me to want my penis gone and yet I want all other males to keep theirs, although if I could I'd trade places with a male that used to have a penis. And I feel sorry for males that don't have a penis, although I admit it shouldn't be my concern and it's not my business!

But some of my wet dreams not only included me going to the bathroom but also included me masturbating, whether I used my hand, used a stuffed animal, or worse having intercourse with someone or some creature. Sometimes I even perform oral or anal sex on myself (in my dreams that is, and I hate that!) And probably because I masturbated, now I have no interest in having sex with anyone, at least not as a penetrator and I never want to, cannot even stand the thought of it and never want to dream about that, and dreaming of using my penis on someone or something causes me to to ejaculate for real and I don't like that either!

Now this is crazier: sometimes I have wet dreams and wake up to wet underwear even when I'm not the one doing anything sexual in my dream. Or get this, and brace yourself!, sometimes I ejaculate even when another male uses his penis on me! And I've had lots of dreams of someone, be it another male or sometimes a female, sticking his or her penis or whatever in me, especially anally. Sometimes I have wet dreams just from watching another person or creature urinate or use his penis in some other way. I even had a wet dream just watching two dogs mate!

I'll admit I have homosexual feelings. I mean maybe before I was heterosexual, maybe bi-sexual, but now I feel more like a complete homosexual. And although I've been using my penis, I see myself more as a bottom (or "uke") than as a top (or "seme") (I don't really like using the words "seme" or "uke.") And ever since I was a toddler, I had sexual fantasies. I was exposed to sex at a super young age. No I wasn't molested and I wasn't touched by a pedophile, but sex was had right in front of me by others. I was even exposed to pornography, and so I had an early exposure to and early knowledge of sex and wanted to practice it myself, I even saw it as normal. Odd, even disturbing, but normal. Anal sex was the very first sex I ever saw, and not much later I saw oral sex, which did seem more disturbing, I didn't like seeing someone's mouth on another's penis but I later accepted that. What really bothered me though was female-to-male sex, I hated that and that made me very uncomfortable, although I admit I used to imagine girls I knew doing that to me, this was before I realized girls don't have penises... and later realized those "penises" I saw women having were not penises! I even dreamed of girls penetrating me. Then later I dreamed of being penetrated by other boys, and my sexual feelings for males intensified as I got older! I even used to commit voyeurism, looking at other males' penises, whether another boy's or a man's! And there were a few times I got caught and yelled and cussed at for it. And now my sexual feelings is completely homosexual, for one I feel more comfortable that way and although I have, I'm not really the penetrating type and I'm not into having sex with females, I used to be, but now I never want to be that again, mostly because of the ejaculation and I hate ejaculating, well I hate it when I do it. I also don't want to use my penis on other males, if I had to have sex with other males, I prefer they were the ones on top and penetrating. I just don't and wouldn't feel right about me penetrating another male, even if the other male wanted it. It just doesn't fit my personality. I'm sorry but I'd rather the other male penetrated me, or else no sex at all, which is best anyway and how I want to keep it!

And I didn't just have sexual feelings for or fantasies about real people but cartoon characters too. And I've had dreams of cartoon characters having sex with me (I won't say which so as not to offend anyone and risk changing how people see cartoon characters.)

I've never had a penis actually inside my butt, so I don't know how anal sex really feels. I've had a penis touching directly on my butt but never did it go in. So I can only imagine what being anally penetrated must feel like (and I don't think I really want to know, what if it's painful? I NEVER liked having a thermometer up my anus so having a penis in my anus would likely be much less comfortable!)

Now this is something I really cannot understand: whether I'm a top or a bottom in my dreams, and I don't know why or how this happens when I'm the bottom, I have wet dreams. How is it that someone else is using his penis on me, and yet I still ejaculate? How am I not using my penis and somebody else is but yet I still ejaculate? I'm not even masturbating! Can somebody please tell me that?

And though I have no plans to have sexual relations with anyone, not even another male, admittedly a lot of times I still hope I'll dream of someone, preferably a male, anally penetrating me, with an actual penis. Sometimes I have dreams of cartoon characters, and some real people, having missing penises. I know they're private body parts and you're not supposed to see anyone else's genitals anyway, but I don't like it when males have a missing penis, although some males really want that and I'm trying to respect and understand that now, there are transgender males out there, wonder if I am too, and again, it's not right for me not to want a penis but to insist other males have one. For all I know there are lots of you that want me to have a penis! And I can understand that! But I don't like to dream of any male not having a penis, except myself, it just feels inconvenient and unfair, at least to me even if the other male is okay with it. And it makes males that don't have one seem more like they're female, but that's how I see it. I also don't like dreaming of females having a penis, and I hate dreaming of seeing females in the boy's/men's bathrooms, and hate seeing females pee standing up, and I hate dreaming about it!

And after being exposed to sex at such an early age, I wondered why I didn't see cartoon character's genitals or didn't see them having sex. Many, especially anthropomorphic animals that don't wear clothes or wear pants, looked as if they didn't have penises, and maybe some didn't, which I couldn't stand the thought of. I even believed cartoon characters didn't have any sex organs! And admittedly I didn't want to believe that. Now I know cartoon characters have penises but know and understand why they're not obvious! But sometimes I do dream of seeing cartoon characters' penises and sometimes they are used on me, and admittedly I liked it, usually. It's sick, I know, and shameful, but I would rather dream about that than some other things! Plus, dreams make things more interesting than they are in reality, and this includes penises, be it mine or someone else's!

But one cartoon character that had sex with me and ejaculated, I ejaculated too and woke up with wet underwear, although in my dream my penis wasn't being used, his was, he got emotional, probably having Post Coital Dysphoria. And I could understand his emotions because when I ejaculate, I get emotional. I don't always cry but am I still suffering PCD? And more than once I saw a man cry after having sex and ejaculating and heard of another man on featured on Judge Hatchet crying every time he had an orgasm. And now I think I know why they've been crying!

I also did not, and still don't, want to dream of anyone touching my penis, especially other males, and one time I had a dream of four male cartoon characters all touching my penis at once and that was traumatic, not to mention offensive and unacceptable. But I hate dreaming of using my penis on others, especially other males. Again, I'd rather other males used their penis on me, or touch my bottom than my penis, otherwise it's best no sex or sexual activity happened at all, and that's the way it should be anyway!

I have a twisted mind, I know. And I have undue interest in penises and place too much value on them and there's absolutely no excuse for that, it's not nice and it's very disrespectful and hurtful! And lots of times, which is a good thing, I fail at having dreams of other males having sex with me, especially cartoon characters. It usually only happens when I least expect it, although when I lucid dream, getting another person to have sex with me is a conscious decision and sometimes they'll agree to do so although I've had some refuse no matter how much I insisted. One person I dreamed about, who happened to be a cartoon character, told me, "You shouldn't do that to anyone!" But yeah sometimes when I am lucid in my dreams and know anything is possible, I knowingly look for sex, especially with fictional characters. But when I do, sometimes there are consequences, including the ejaculations from me although I'm the one being penetrated, or sometimes I accidentally go number 2, and I don't want to go number 2 on anyone's penis, even in my dreams! And I've had dreams of someone sticking his penis into me causing me to have to go number 2, and that's just plain freaky! Another reason why it's better not to have sex, even in a dream! I'm also sexually particular.

I also want to know, how is it I don't have wet dreams every time I dream about my penis, including when I masturbate or am just going to the bathroom? But the bigger mystery is how am I still ejaculating when someone else's penis is used, whether on me or on someone else? I just cannot understand that!

One thing I have done to decrease wet dreams is to retrain my brain. And I got so tired of having wet dreams and what they were doing to me that I decided to try to do something about it, I would pummel my mind, not with my hands, but realizing I can choose my thoughts and fantasies, and much of what I dream about is based on what I think about or dwell on and how I live. I have had to practice in my mind refusing to play with or touch any other way my penis, practice refusing to even look at it, and I honestly cannot stand the sight of my own penis anymore, and if my penis was out, I would put it back away and hide it from myself and keep it hidden. I also had, and still have to, repeatedly tell myself "I will not look at, touch, or play with my penis." It's not easy and can hurt your head but it's worth the effort! And like I said, I know having wet dreams is part of life, as is ejaculating, if you're male, and I know being female is no easier, and I cannot ever eliminate my chances of having wet dreams, but I do want to reduce my chances of having them and have them much less frequently. And to decrease my chances of dreaming of others touching my private part, I rehearse in my mind "I will not use my penis on anyone" and "Nobody will touch my penis." I even have to imagine others saying "Don't worry, we won't touch your penis, and we don't want you to use it on us." When my penis is touched or played with by my own self or by someone else, that too leads to a wet dream. I also retrain my brain to do other things. And it's not just retraining the brain, you have to work really hard at it and keep at it, it's like exercise! It hurts, but it will pay off!

And knowing many sexual dreams, not all of them, cause ejaculations, even when I'm being penetrated and not penetrating anyone, I've had to tell myself when I go to bed "No sex!" And it does feel better not to have any sexual dreams.

So in review:
:arrow: When I have ejaculations, I feel uncomfortable, want to isolate myself, and feel like I cannot live a normal life. I may or may not have PCD but I still feel rotten.

:arrow: I never want to masturbate again, EVER! I want that behind me! I also have zero interest in penetrating anyone although I have that ability, I don't even want to want to do it!

:arrow: I have wet dreams whether I'm going to the bathroom or doing something outright sexual, including masturbate, or even just having my penis out. But are they wet dreams when it's me going to the bathroom, or is that only if I'm doing something outright sexual?

:arrow: And how am I still ejaculating when it's not me using my penis in my dream but someone else, whether they're using their penis on me or not, and again, I have homosexual feelings and would rather be a bottom than a top, IF I had to have sex with another man, whether for real or in my dream, but hopefully it will never really happen, in my dreams though, no guarantee it won't happen!

:arrow: I want low T. I know that's an odd thing for a man to want but I want low T!

:arrow: I also want to decrease my chances of having wet dreams. I know I cannot eliminate them altogether, it's impossible, but I'd like to decrease my chances of having them.

:arrow: Changing my thoughts and taking drastic action to retrain the brain can help, that and staying away from anything that arouses sexual feelings or creates an urge to have sex. And rehearsing in your mind "I will not have sex" or whatever you have to tell yourself. We are in charge of our minds and we have much control over what we think about and dwell on and what we choose not to think about.

:arrow: My twisted mind also needs work! Although I revealed a lot of disturbing things about myself, I don't want to be an immoral person or viewed as such, but I know I'm going to be. And again, my name is not Marvin, that's my pretend name. I'm not giving my age or race or my real name!

I'm very sorry if anyone was offended by this message and if this was inappropriate. I didn't mean to sound disgusting to anyone. There's a lot more I could have said but chose to leave out! I do want to be understood and want to understand why some things are happening to me. I know some of what I'm doing is a choice and some things that happened are my fault, and I cannot change everything about myself, some things I just have to live with, but other things I cannot understand, and do want to hear from others who go through or have gone through the same thing. I need advice! I'll tell you this, all advice to have sex or masturbate or act on my sexual feelings, especially in real life, will be rejected! I also do not want to view pornography (for one it really bothers my conscience!) And I'm not looking for any man or anyone else to have sex with me!

I want people who will help me and give me real and useful advise, NOT people who will misguide me. So please answer my questions if you know the answers!

I also need to see a therapist about this!

Thanks in advance for reading this and for any help or advise given. I won't be here very often!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 10:53 am 
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Administrator

Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:03 am
Posts: 677
Location: Australia (south of Sydney)
Age: 66
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Lots of Precum (more than 4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to orgasm/ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Nude - no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Date that you last had an orgasm/ejaculation.: 05 Mar 2017
Sex: Male
I must be honest. I did not wade through the whole lengthy post. Just the points in review.

There is one way that you can achieve all of your points. All with very little ongoing efforts by yourself.

The big problem with this solution is that it is permanent - there is no reversal once the decision is made and acted upon.

I am, of course, referring to castration. Drastic but effective.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:23 pm 
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Active Member

Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 6:47 am
Posts: 367
Location: England/scotland
Age: 26
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 0
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Little Precum (1-2 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to orgasm/ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Shorts or pajamas with no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - never had a wet dream before
Date that you last had an orgasm/ejaculation.: 19 Oct 2017
Sex: Male
Definetly see a therapist for balanced advice. Do not use surgery to tackle a psychological issue. I am not a doctor by the way. Plus surgery would cause alot of other unwanted problems.


Is it a possibility that your anal orgasms are the reason you ehaculate?

Also many people have different fantasies and anything that is sezual to them will appear in their dreams. So i wouldnt get concerned about what fantasies you have! as long as they are not illegal ones!!

Ejaculating can take alot out of the body mentally and physically. It can be conpensated by looking after your body. Hydration and nutrition are important. I feel quite tired now after ejaculating especially after sex and can get very irritated very easily. I not that when i havent ejaculated for a while i am alot more tollerant of others.

I am not sure about the urinating the bed aspect but i have heard about people doing that when they are super confident about urinating whenever and whenever they need tl urinate. It could also be an anxiety related issue that has been created by overthing. Tbh the plumming dpwn there is shared so maybe ita your body trying to relax you and getting mixed up.

Everyone has regret post masturbation due to the wave of emotions but i have found this less so with sex ejaculations. Im not sure if its the religious pressures that have made me this way.

Ps this is all my opinion and things i have read, just to give balance.

PM me if you ever want to talk or ask questions. What ever you want to talk about we are here for aupport.


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